appliances as furniture.

certain songs cause you to find certain streets once the sun disappears. it's like speeding over old scars. now it is healing those marks & creating new flesh.

darkness reveals my heart.

& i don't like it.

i was swimming in a sea of ashes.

this will not be your favorite book.

you will not like this book.

this will be my ugly heart.

deceit.

give me a bicycle to get away from myself.

you will not read this.

if your eyes find these words, i am sorry.

i am hiding even still.

"the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak."

i want it clean, but you attach every string.

so many words.

i don't want the words.

just the mistake.

you felt that, but you do not feel it now.

sincere?

i wonder if i ever will be.

always hiding.

take your money & throw it in the fire.

i am a liar.

monster.

fuckfuckfuck.

the shame would blind you.

i am easy to leave.

if you only knew the eye you should keep on me.

liar.

monster.

i want you to know.

i wish i could tell you.

but i can't.

fuckfuckfuck.

am i worth fixing?

am i still welcome?

i do not want you to see the monster i am.

liar.

i do not want to break your heart all over again.

i am sorry.

monster.

medication of the sort.

i have been sprinkling salt water over barren fields these days.
the crops are choking beneath the surface, desperate for the sun to bring them up out of darkness, yet unaware that such light will bring life.

i have been set apart.
but this holy thing bites like isolation.
i need other human souls to pour into mine & gauge me back to full.

i have been covered with unparalleled love, but i can't help but notice this patch of my heart is dry & cracking.
my setting apart is a blessing - evidence of His present work.
i know He is proud.
i know there is reason.
so i will climb to the other side stronger. redeemed.

may my faith overcome my human mind.

reminiscent of a sea-do.

i am strung out on grace.
the smoke lingers.

can you tell me why this shame bites at my heels?
my silhouette is chased by a nameless grief.
send sweet freedom rain to my eyelids;

let me feel it on my lips.

i am strung out on grace.

the smoke lingers.

.

these divine words fall on my hands like white powder,

like a liquid to refresh my veins.

tangible, if only to my heart alone;

open your jaws.

if this is security, i am unshakeable.

if this is wisdom, i am undeniable.

if this is hope, i am free.

.

"& you will sing on the skin of those you ink, on their unsung skin."

.

i am strung out on grace.

the smoke lingers.