dinos kill dinos.

december 3rd, 2007:

"you're a good person. i don't know if you know that, but you are."
-- seraphim

my heart is in a box, under lock&key.
i have never let you find it.
you've tried to break in time&time again, over&over, but have never even shifted the hinges.
for a reason.
the key is not meant for your hands.
you will never find its hiding place.
i will never let you in.
if love has defined my actions, then love is a lie.
if love is what has brought me to this place, then love is a wrecking ball.
if love is what has dominated my heart, then i am an enemy of all that is good.
better judgment is fighting for my life.
i will not be conquered by fear or uselessness or pain or loss of hope.
i lied so that i would not have to hurt so much,
&i believed those lies to the point where it didn't hurt at all.

april 6th through may 13th, 2008:

there is something to be said about strength.
moving across the country to fabricate a home as anything but where you've come from.
when opposites are desired, come to arizona.
&there is something to be said about alaska.
&then there's alaska.

i think it's safe to say that doubt is a shadow
&it's life force is death.
such is human nature.
but then there's evening & the comfort of family dinners.
&then there's nightfall, wrapped in the arms of someone who loves you,
&sleep comes on with the promise of morning light, viewed by eyes half-closed
with so much glad emotion, enough feeling to construct entire cities.

turn my heart inside out.
blanket my brain to contain the thoughts that so easily escape into the atmosphere beyond.

there is not enough to be said about a blank page.
to think that we've only just begun; we have a hell of a lot to look forward to.
strength is most present when weakness is most apparent.

goodbye, doubt. you're a shithead.
farewell, fear. you've hindered me most unsettlingly.

we've learned all of the things we were not meant to
&now we're deciding what to do with this composite of twisted logic,
this labyrinth of skewed truths.

i'll put music to your words & color to your thoughts.
this revelation of something more
&this void that is slowly growing larger
&this instinct of glory unseen
sometimes causes me to choke.

i have a hunch of explosion.
silly humanity.
involuntary actions bring questions of mortality
&purpose in a passing point in time.
of all of the galaxies!
tension mounts with open hours.
24, to be exact.
careless points of yellow light [or is it orange?].
endless miles of receding asphalt,
like the stuff that covers your head.
i have no concept of definitive lines of oil
&cannot grasp onto prepositions,
but i'll kick the ass of any absolute truth debate.

TAKE THAT, FUCKER.