he found it on a park bench.

one swallow, two.
colors start to bleed & the walls begin to pulse.
i left my heart in the parking garage.

i am beginning to understand the volume of the situation.

autumn is a time for rearranging; summer left me no chance.
i have newfound hope in words past spoken, promises made long ago.
i cling to them like window sills, climbing to the roof where i will find the sun.

our cigarettes swallow miles.
your window's bleeding yellow.
your june carter is slowly dying in suburbia.
i scream at the clouds through the windshield.
i feel the filter trees but don't give them enough time.

i am beginning to understand the volume of the situation.

so we put our mouths together & call it love.
our lips are moving; we must be communicating.

the carpet melted.

cat scratches.

i've been distracting my mind with a square of static.
i didn't expect this.
i am so scared.
96 days & it feels so much longer. like forever.
i can't believe i drank myself that way.
"you are so far away."
it's hard to believe what has happened here.
"are we gonna make it?"
at least it was love.

i'm already out the door.

all of this, &for what?
i need a broadcast.
how did they know?
pressure i feel like pressure.

accidents reveal more than pain.
i wanted you to know, it was all there, hidden inside 2 straps of hemp.
now it's a rainbow, but it's still there.
don't think that it's passed.
don't forget that i'm fragile.

they're obsessed with california.
at least it was love.

in comparison, we carry a small load.

hiking in a dress through the faded green of summer.
shedding the clothes that have weighed me down for so long.
naked & vulnerable, i come alive in the cold.
barefoot on a river of asphalt,
coated in songs that will make one cry.
sheltered by touch, liberated by love:
this is a whole new playing field.
my prayers may be littered with apology,
but my eyes are soaked in grace.
sorry for scaring, afraid of scarring,
but never too far off to float.